


Adrift

by Beedok



Category: Ranma 1/2
Genre: I have too many AU ideas, Multi, Parallel Universes, so I'm putting as many as I can in one fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-06-10 02:58:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15282084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beedok/pseuds/Beedok
Summary: Ranma is tossed into the multiverse by Happosai. Meeting other versions of himself, who's problems he can address from an outside angle, he decides to help them out. All while hoping for a way home.





	1. Prologue: Bon Voyage

“Oops.”

Sure, Ranma didn’t care that much about the old slime. Or his collection of stollen ‘darlings’. Still, spilling Akane’s most toxic meal yet all over the pile of them in the middle of Happosai’s room hadn’t been Ranma’s intention. Apparently the old man had been admiring his favourites, now they were dripping with... whatever Akane was trying to feed Ranma.

“Gonna need to go on a vacation while the room gets decontaminated, eh gramps?” Ranma stated, hoping to get rid of him.

“Ranma! Stop acting like my food is toxic waste!”

“Last time I ate any I got sick. An’ I’ve got a stomach of iron.”

“I’ll admit, on reflection I should have checked if the chicken had heated thoroughly in the microwave. It wasn’t that big of a mistake though. This meal was much better. Just a nice stew.”

“They’re all ruined,” Happosai bemoaned to himself. “All my favourites.”

“I saw you pour in like half a bottle of soy sauce,” Ranma said, ignoring the old man.

“It’s stew. It needs a broth.”

Suddenly Ranma felt something clamp onto his wrist. The vile old codger had managed to sneak up on him, and had stuck on some sort of over-decorated arm band.

“What the heck is this you old worm?” Ranma asked, while trying to pull the jeweled piece of metal off. “It better not be something to mess with my curse!”

“Nothing so passé as that. You’ve upset me too many times for such a simple punishment. This is the _Liufang Xiubiao_ : the Bracelet of Exile. I won’t have to see your face again until I think you’ve learned your lesson,” Happosai replied.

“Huh? What does this hunka metal do?” Ranma grumbled, still unable to remove the bracelet.

“I’m not completely sure, the scroll that came with it as rather damaged,” the old leech admitted, “But it guarantees you’ll be out of my hair as soon as I read the magic words. Abracadabra Alakazam!”

The bracelet began to radiate an odd violet colour, while the pigtailed boy stared daggers at the old man.

“Really? THAT was the magi-”

He vanished in a puff of green flame.

“Finally, I’ll get a bit of peace and quiet around here. Even if it means I don’t get to see that lovely redhead, there’s plenty of girls to distract me around here,” Happosai gloated, before having a moment of reflection on the various beauties in the neighbourhood.

A dresser to the head reminded him that Akane had been in the room the whole time. While he crawled out of the furniture she yanked him up to eye level by the collar.

“Where is he?”

“Somewhere far away. It’s a bracelet of exile.”

“WHERE!?” Akane demanded, her aura flaring up enough to actually worry Happosai.

“Ask Cologne. I’ve got no idea. Her people should have labelled their loot better.”

Akane chucked the old grandmaster through a wall and stormed off towards the Neko Hanten. It wasn’t too long of a walk, but was just far enough Akane understood why Shampoo had a bike. Of course you couldn’t really stomp while biking and right now Akane wanted to stomp.

All but knocking the door at the entrance off its hinges Akane marched up to the counter. Mousse looked nervous.

“Mousse-kun, Where is Cologne?” she asked, angry but attempting to be civil.

“Uh, she’s in the back.”

Mousse scrambled into the kitchen and soon emerged with Cologne. The old woman pogoed over to Akane.

“What brings you in today? Not here to let Shampoo have son-in-law I’m guessing?”

“Of course not. I have questions about an artifact. The Bracelet of Exile.”

Cologne looked stunned for a moment. “So Happi did take it... We have to get it back. That is one of the most powerful artifacts the Joketsuzoku ever acquired. Where is it?”

“Wherever it sent Ranma,” Akane replied. “I don’t care how far away that might be. I’ll cross an ocean if needed.”

“He used it... the old fool,” Cologne mumbled to herself. “I’m sorry child, but Ranma is not anywhere you can reach.”

“He... he isn’t dead is he?”

“No. The bracelet sends whoever wears it to... well, the modern term would be parallel universes. The victim is only returned to her or his home realm when whoever spoke the magic words truly forgives them... or dies.”

As the words sunk in Akane felt her heart break. Happosai was not the forgiving type. For a brief moment the idea of letting Shampoo try to kill him floated in her head, but she both knew that would fail and didn’t like the idea of murder.


	2. The Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There, I finally got a chapter out. Sorry it took so long.

Ranma’s head was aching as he regained consciousness. Staring up at the grey sky he realised it was raining. Also he was lying in a puddle. That probably explained why he hurt more than he expected too. His girl form seemed to be just a touch more fragile than his male form.

 

He was a bit surprised when suddenly he saw himself wander into his field of view and bend down in obvious concern. He wasn’t sure if this other him being male despite the rain increased the shock or not. The gakuran was an interesting look though.

 

“You okay?” the other him asked.

 

“I might be seein’ things right now, so... I’ll say maybe?”

 

“Where did you come from? There was this flash of green, and when I turned around you were lying there on the ground.”

 

The currently female Ranma lifted his arm to show off the bracelet. “Happosai stuck this on me. Then there was a flash of green, a lot of pain, and next thing I knew I was waking up here.”

 

The currently male Ranma shivered at Happosai’s name, but then helped the other Ranma up. The shorter Ranma studied his surroundings, and realised it was one of Nerima’s parks he knew fairly well.

 

“So... you recognise me. And you were lying in a puddle. In the rain,” this other Ranma was saying. “So, that begs the question: how are you still female?”

 

The redhead’s mind broke for an instant. 

 

“P-pardon?” he managed to stammer.

 

“Did you cure your Nannichuan curse? Or is it, like, waterproof soap? Or...?”

 

“Wait... Y-you’re a girl?” Ranma asked, confused and shocked.

 

“Y-you aren’t?” his doppelganger replied with equal shock.

 

The two stared at the other in shock for several seconds. Studying how the other carried themself. Looking for signs despite their respective current forms. The currently smaller Ranma realised the other did seem to have a slightly more compact stance. Like she wasn’t used to taking up so much space.

 

“I’ll guess your name ain’t Ranko then?” Ranko asked.

 

“No... It’s Ranma.”

 

“Pfft... Really? Wow! I’ve used that as a fake name more than a few times, since mine doesn’t work well for a boy. Always thought I was just being lazy. I suppose the lack of creativity on names must be genetic or somethin’ if the old man actually called you that...” she said with a giggle that did not quite fit her form. “Well... let’s get back to the dojo. I’m guessing you’d like a warm bath as much as I do.”

 

Ranma nodded, and followed his look alike. This was freaky. Ranma remembered Kasumi explaining the idea of parallel universes last week when Ranma had been confused about a tv show she was watching. It might have been something like that. With all the other wackiness that happened in his life getting sent to another universe seemed perfectly plausible.

 

“You’re handlin’ this well,” Ranma mentioned casually.

 

“I don’t know what else I can do. I’ll keep an eye out to see if you turn evil... but I was thinking this might be like that parallel universe thing Kasumi explained to me the other day. Especially since you’re not doing anything foolish like the mirror clones did.”

 

Ranma noticed that Ranko seemed to grow a bit withdrawn at the memory of the mirror clones. He didn’t really know why... sure, it was embarrassing, but not that big a deal.

 

They finally reached the Tendo home and Ranko let them both in. As they kicked off their shoes the girl-turned-boy shouted out a greeting. Ranma heard Kasumi answer a moment later, and then the eldest Tendo daughter appeared.

 

When she saw the two of them she had worry flash on her face. “W-what happened? Ranko, are you okay?”

 

“Oh, I’m fine,” she replied. Her tone was calm and assuring. “Just made a friend. Kasumi, meet Ranma. Ranma... meet Kasumi?”

 

“Well, I’ve met  _ a _ Kasumi before,” Ranma said. The redhead did however give a slight bow (he’d always respected Kasumi). “It is a pleasure to meet you too though.”

 

Kasumi returned the bow. “It is a pleasure to meet you as well. Where did you come from, if you don’t mind my asking?”

 

Ranma repeated the explanation he’d given earlier. He didn’t exactly understand any more than before, so it was a pretty basic explanation. He also also told her that he was indeed a boy with a nyannichuan curse.

 

“Oh my... that’s quite the story. I suppose you would like a bath then?”

 

“I, well, I suppose?” Ranma replied. “Er, what about Ranko? It feels rude to leave a girl needin’ to warm herself up. She should really go before I do.”

 

“I... uh... well, I guess we can both go? It’s not... well it’s not like either of us has anything the other hasn’t seen,” Ranko offered.

 

Ranma froze. It was true. He always told himself that when he ended up in the girl’s side of a change room or public bath. And honestly he could usually handle the issue fine when it happened due to outside circumstances. Deliberately though? That was frightening.

 

“Hey, don’t worry,” Ranko assured him, “I’ve ended up having to use the guy’s changeroom more than once... so I can handle this.” (If Ranma had been better at reading people’s emotions he’d have noticed Ranko was clearly trying to reassure herself too.)

 

Ranma nodded awkwardly and headed towards the furo as he remembered the location. Luckily Ranko went the same direction, so it seemed the layout of the house was roughly the same. They reached the changing area and began to undress. Ranma had done this with his female mirror clone before, but... well that clone had been in female form. Ranko in male form... well, she was towering over him... it was a little unnerving on top of weird.

 

“Wait,” Ranma said as he noticed something odd about Ranko. “Since you’re a girl... why ain’t ya wearin’ a bra?”

 

Ranko blushed furiously. “W-well... it’s been raining all day today. Being in guy mode the whole time kind of stretches the band out.”

 

“Oh,” was all Ranma said in reply. He really didn’t know enough about bras to say anything more.

 

The two went about washing up in awkward silence. Neither really wanted to look at their strange parallel in the wrong body. Eventually Ranma finished washing and slid to soak in the warm tub. Turning back to himself he suddenly felt much more comfortable about the situation. After a minute or so of relaxing he realised that Ranko was just sort of sitting there on her stool.

 

“You okay?” Ranma asked.

 

“I... yeah. Just... I’ll wait for you to head out.”

 

“Um, okay,” Ranma replied as he stood up and reached for a towel. Looking over at his doppelganger he swore he saw a hint of fear. “You suggested this?”

 

“Y-yeah. I thought it might help. Hoped I was over it...” Ranko half whispered.

 

“Over what?”

 

“I... the mirror clone. He... he was quite forward.”

 

Ranma paused and remembered how the incident had gone for himself. How the female clone had been obsessive to a point exceeding even Kodachi. She (it?) had maintained a certain girlish playfulness and coyness though. Looking at Ranko though Ranma realised things must have gone differently. He also thought back to how much Ranko’s male form (essentially his birth form) towered over his cursed form (and Ranko’s birth form). And memories of how Kuno had acted while an amnesiac flitted into his head. He shivered at the implication.

 

“I beat the snot out of him in the end, but... it was tougher than was comfortable,” she continued after a moment. She wrapped her arms around her legs and her eyes grew a bit distant. Despite her form, her body language left no doubt of her femininity. “I know you aren’t him. My gut doesn’t seem ready to accept it though. It’ll be better when we’re dressed.”

 

Ranma nodded an acceptance and went out to the laundry room. A few moments later he was dressed and decided to go wait for Ranko in the hallway outside the family room and watch the rain. He wasn’t sure what to make of all this and wondered how long he would be here. Would the magic Happosai had used last hours? Days? Months? The last option made him shiver a bit. That long separated from Akane...

 

“Oh, Ranko. What are you doing, just sitting here?” Akane’s voice asked.

 

Ranma slipped from where he was seated. Of course there would be an Akane here... just not his Akane. Lying on his back he found himself staring up at her, unsure what to say.

 

“Everything alright there Ranko?” Akane asked.

 

“Err, I’m not Ranko.”

 

“Pardon?”

 

Ranma righted himself and stood up. “The name’s Ranma... Sorry ‘bout the confusion.”

 

“Okay Ranko... what are you up to now? Is this one of auntie Nodoka’s schemes?” Akane asked, concern obvious on her face.

 

“I... pardon?”

 

Ranma’s ability to question further was interrupted by Ranko’s arrival around the corner. The small red haired girl was now clad in a silk Chinese outfit like Ranma’s. Akane’s eyes flipped back and forth between the two wildly.

 

“I see you’ve met Ranma,” the cute redhead stated with a playful smile. “He’s quite handsome, ain’t he?”

 

“Wait, what’s going on?” Akane asked.

 

Once more Ranma ran through a quick explanation. He figured two or three more times and he’d have it down perfectly. The three were seated now as Ranma finished the brief story.

 

“So... you’re actually a boy,” Akane mumbled to herself. Ranma noticed a slight blush on her cheeks.

 

“Hey, that reminds me. Ranko, why are ya stayin’ with the Tendos anyway?”

 

The small girl’s face turned the colour of her hair in an instant. She quickly blurted: “Ngjmnt.”

 

“What?” Ranma asked.

 

“She an I... well, we’re sort of... with her curse uncle Genma thought... and daddy apparently agreed...” Akane stammered.

 

Ranma sat there confused. Something was piecing it together in the back of his mind, but he knew that idea was crazy.

 

“It’s a little crazy really,” Ranko explained, still blushing furiously. “But yeah... the old man talked things over with the Jusenkyo guide. He was curious just how  _ thorough _ the curse was. When he heard that apparently those with the curse  _ could _ father kids... he decided it was time to book it back to Japan and, er, fulfill an old promise.”

 

“Ohhhhhhh... And since Akane ‘hates boys’,” Ranma said.

 

The dark haired girl blushed again. “Nabiki was actually after her when she first showed up. Then Ranko managed to spill some tea on herself... I was pushed forward in an instant.”

 

“Not that Nabiki doesn’t like to get a good look in the bath,” Ranko replied, crossing her arms grumpily.

 

“In the bath?” Ranma asked. “Y-you bathe with her?”

 

“I  _ am _ a girl ya know!” Ranko shouted back angrily. “I bathe with other girls plenty a times.”

 

“S-sorry. Just, since we were in together... I wasn’ sure how things worked. And you’re engaged ta your Akane so...”

 

Ranko grew quiet. Akane moved to explain in her stead.

 

“To be perfectly honest the way daddy and her parents treat her is confused at the best of times.”

 

Ranko suddenly sprang to her feet. “Hey, Ranma, let’s spar! Just a friendly match of course.”

 

“I... I’m not really a fan of fighting girls,” Ranma muttered awkwardly.

 

“Well ain’t that sexist,” Ranko replied. However her voice had dropped significantly by the end of the sentence thanks to her stepping out into the rain. “There, better?”

 

Ranma found himself staring at the ground, too embarrassed to retain eye contact. “Well... at least we’d know whoever wins is all from skill...”

 

He quietly followed the now Akane and the now taller and manlier looking Ranko to the dojo. It wasn’t like he didn’t know the way of course, it just seemed polite as he was technically the guest.

 

Arriving he and Ranko gave each other quick bows and slid into fighting stances. Both tried to guess the other’s preferences as they sized their foe’s posture up. Yet both had to admit their forms were loose enough to be hard to read. After a bit of circling Ranko grew annoyed that Ranma was refusing to initiate and slid in with a series of kicks. Ranma was able to block easily enough (but could tell the kicks were more probing moves than a serious assault). He closed the distance and moved in with a flurry of punches meant to test Ranko. She proved just as effective at blocking. 

 

The cocky smile she began to wear as she went for a leg sweep annoyed Ranma for a moment. Then he realised it was the same smile he always wore. Finally getting to see just how annoying that was for an opponent made Ranma smile himself as he swung a roundhouse at his foe.

 

The fight quickly sped up as both Saotomes decided to push the other harder and harder. Akane found herself struggling to keep straight who was who. Only Ranko’s clear preference for kicks allowed her to keep track (well that and Ranko’s clothes being a bit tighter as they were tailored to fit her female form less awkwardly than Ranma’s would, but at the cost of not fitting her male form quite as well). 

 

Then the leaping began, and suddenly the generously sized dojo seemed barely able to contain the fighters. Both were bouncing off support pillars and apparently defying gravity. The two fighters seemed evenly matched to Akane’s eye. She did find it interesting to watch how Ranma clearly had most of the same teachings as Ranko, but his male style lead to a greater focus on fists. He seemed looser over all as far as Akane could see. Ranko’s moves bore a similar hallmark to Akane’s own: they were crisp, perhaps overly so in Akane’s case, due to hours of practicing katas each day. Ranma’s brought in a bit more of the wildness Akane had seen in self taught grapplers. She could only guess that he did more sparring than katas. 

 

After what felt like a small eternity the two black haired Saotome teens came to a halt. Both were panting and sweating heavily. They also had matching stupidly large grins for two people who’d just been trying to beat the pulp out the other.

 

“You should kick more,” Ranko said between breaths. “We’ve got long legs in guy from. Use that.”

 

“I kick plenty,” Ranma protested. “Ya need to loosen up more though. Could totally read your moves.”

 

“The old man says the same thing,” Ranko grumbled. “If he’d sparred with me more growin’ up...”

 

As the two stood up beside the other something else different struck Akane.

 

“Ranko... you’re taller than him.”

 

Both pigtailed teens froze at that. In an instant they’d turned to face the other, checking who’s eye level was higher. Ranma grew flustered as he realised that Ranko’s male form was indeed a little taller. Not much... a little over two centimetres perhaps. Yet, with them being otherwise identical it suddenly stuck out.

 

“Why?” was all Ranma said.

 

“Maybe because she spends more time as a girl? So she doesn’t need as much food, and then gets to grow more?” Akane offered.

 

“That’s not fair,” Ranma grumbled.

 

Further moping was interrupted by Kasumi arriving at the dojo door. “Dinner will be ready soon. Oh, and all of the parents are home again.”

 

The last bit felt almost like a warning to Ranma, and he wasn’t sure why.

 

“Oh, thanks,” Ranko replied.

 

Kasumi then gave the near identical pair an quick once over. “Don’t tell me you two need another bath.”

 

“Nah,” Ranko replied. “Just a toweling and a change of shirts should do us.”

 

It only took a few minutes for Ranma and Ranko to freshen up enough that Akane deemed them presentable. The fact that the change of shirt was stored in a chest of drawers Ranma had not seen before in Akane’s room raised an eyebrow.

 

“So, Ranko, why is your stuff in Akane’s room?” Ranma asked as he fiddled with the shirt. It just didn’t fit right.

 

“We share the room,” Ranko replied while walking down the stairs.

 

“I only saw one bed...” Ranma said.

 

“W-we’re both girls!” the still physically male Ranko blushed. “So it’s fine.”

 

“Mhm, I’d never let her sleep in my bed in boy form though,” Akane added. She paused just long enough to see Ranma and Ranko both give confused yet embarrassed looks before sticking her tongue out. “The bed is much too small to share with someone that tall!”

 

Ranko and Ranma shot her icy glares, but she couldn’t help laughing. Ranma felt himself wondering at how Ranko and this Akane might have a different rapport than he had with the Akane he knew. Entering into the dining area he was about to get another shock.

 

“Oh, don’t you two look handsome,” Nodoka said as Ranma and Ranko walked in. “Kasumi was telling us about how you’re here Ranma. I must say, it will be nice to have you to be a role model for dear Ranko.”

 

“Pardon?” Ranma asked. He was deeply confused (though not too confused to find himself an empty spot at the table to eat).

 

“While Ranko might look the part and has picked up a fair bit from Genma... my child still has quite a bit to learn on the ways of manhood. If that child is going to be a good husband for dear Akane-chan...”

 

Genma cleared his throat a bit nervously. “Though if Ranma is going to be staying, perhaps he would make a better husband?”

 

Ranma’s eyes had been flying in confusion between this Nodoka, Akane, and Ranko. Nodoka seemed to be acting as if what she was saying was perfectly normal. Akane looked nervously at Ranma with emotions surprisingly similar to the Akane he knew back home, mixing embarrassment with other things he could never quite identify. Ranko, for her part, was clearly deeply uncomfortable. Her eyes pleading that Ranma help somehow.

 

“I... I don’t know how long I’ll be here,” Ranma replied. He saw Ranko deflate slightly, but didn’t know what else to say beyond the truth. He pulled his sleeve back.“This bracelet might only work for a few hours. Maybe a couple days. Maybe I’m here for good. I just don’t know.”

 

The rest of the meal and evening saw him bombarded with questions. He was surprised how often Ranko had apparently handled things similarly. And confused by the sour looks whenever he mentioned Ryoga. What had P-chan done with himself in this universe?

 

* * *  


 

Ranma found himself in girl form with a futon set up on Akane’s floor. Ranko and Akane were sharing the bed. Nodoka had decided that was the best sleeping arrangement and Soun’s own worries had been ignored.

 

“So, can I just ask: what’s with your mom Ranko?”

 

The other red head let out a tired sigh. “She’s taken the old man’s nonsense to the next step. Since I’ve kinda failed as a girl, she sees the curse as a way for me to be her son instead.”

 

“But you’re still allowed to share a bed with Akane and everything?”

 

“Mom says that because we’re engaged it’s fine,” Ranko replied.

 

“And what do you think about it?” Ranma asked.

 

“It’s my duty as her child.”

 

“Can you two chat later?” Akane said, sitting up to glare at Ranma a moment. “It’ll already take me awhile to get to sleep with a boy in my room. And there’s school tomorrow.”

 

“Sorry,” both redheads replied in unison.

 

* * *  


 

Ranko and Akane had left for school. Nodoka had wanted to grill Ranma on his entire personality, wanting to see what she could do to make Ranko more manly. He ended up panicking and saying he needed to talk to Cologne. He was sure she’d know something about the bracelet.

Luckily the Neko Hanten was located in the same place in this universe so it didn’t take long to find. Being early in the morning it was also quite quiet.

 

“ _ Airen _ !” Shampoo shouted as she bounded over to wrap her beloved in a bear hug.

 

“Is Cologne around?” Ranma gasped with what little air he could manage under Shampoo’s vice grip.

 

His question was answered as the ancient half mummified woman emerged from the kitchen.

 

“Ah, daughter-in-law. Should you not be in school?”

 

The few customers were used to Saotome gender bending and didn’t blink at the boy being called ‘daughter-in-law’.

 

“About that,” Ranma replied as he pulled the arm with the bracelet of exile on it up out of Shampoo’s grip. “I ain’t Ranko. The name’s Ranma.”

 

“The  _ Liufang Xiubiao _ .  How did you get that on your wrist?” Cologne asked as she moved in for a closer look.

 

“Happosai.”

 

“Happi is still in Japan where you came from? But why-ah, the name. You’re a male aren’t you?” The way she said the last sentence sounded like an accusation.

 

“Yes,” Ranma replied.

 

Shampoo let go in an instant and glared at him. “Boy? You is boy?”

 

“ _ Yes _ ,” Ranma told her sharply. “Is that a problem?”

 

“Very much. Wife who can provide children much better than some stinky boy,” Shampoo replied sharply.

 

“Huh... the Shampoo back where I’m from seems ta think rather differently,” Ranma replied smugly. “She’s crazy about me.”

 

Both teens glared at one another before Cologne cleared her voice. “I can only assume you came here for information on the bracelet?”

 

Ranma nodded.

 

“Firstly, there is no easy way of removing it unless whoever exiled you no longer bares ill will towards you. Which either means forgiveness or their death. I suppose a coma might work too... but that has not been tested to my knowledge.”

 

“So I’m stuck here until the old creep forgives me? Or kicks the bucket?” Ranma asked.

 

“No. You’re exiled until then, but as added cruelty you will not be given a permanent home. You will likely spend between a week and a month in each realm... the records from past victims of the bracelet are vague at best. We do know that the magic draws you to the version of yourself in each realm. That is part of how it transports you.”

 

“And there’s nothin’ you can do?”

 

“If I had access to the full library of my people perhaps I could manage something, but here in Tokyo? No. Nothing can be done my child. I am sorry,” the tiny old woman said with genuine sympathy. “All you have is hope those who care for you somehow sway that... vile man. That or kill him. I suspect the latter is more likely.”

 

* * *  


 

Ranma sat on a park bench staring at the gravel. He couldn’t stand this feeling of utter helplessness. He was Saotome Ranma! He didn’t lose, and he certainly never gave up.

 

Except there wasn’t anyone around he could fight. He could try breaking the bracelet, but that might just strand him for good. He had to do something, but what?

 

“Ranko! What are you doing in Kyoto?” Ryoga asked, looking genuinely happy to see him (or more technically to see someone he thought was Ranko).

 

Ranma looked up to see Ryoga coming his way. Maybe he could release some stress with a nice sparring match. He stood up and started walking towards Ryoga.

 

“There’s two things wrong with what you just said. One, this ain’t Kyoto,” Ranma replied. “And two-”

 

Ranma’s explanation was silenced by Ryoga grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him into a passionate kiss. The tender loving nature of the kiss left Ranma stunned. He wasn’t sure he’d ever received such a genuine display romantic love.

 

“I’ve missed you, Ranko,” Ryoga whispered softly into Ranma’s ear.

 

The improper name jarred Ranma from his momentary state of confused bliss. A sudden jarring that let him process  _ who _ it was that kissed him. As well as why.

 

“Byah! Ryoga! I ain’t Ranko!” Ranma half shouted.

 

“What do you mean? Ranko, what’s wrong with you?” the fanged boy asked. His eyes filled with fear as he took Ranma’s head into his hands and tried to look for any bumps or scars. “Did you hit your head again?”

 

“What? No! No,” Ranma replied, pushing out of Ryoga’s grip. “I... I ain’t from around here. The old pervert stuck this thing on me and I fell into your world.”

 

Ranma lifted his sleeve to reveal the bracelet attached to his arm.

 

“You...  _ fell _ into our world?” Ryoga asked, confused and yet  _ strangely _ understanding. He was probably half surprised something similar had never happened to him.

 

“Yeah. Also, it seems kinda important to mention that, unlike Ranko, I’m a guy,” Ranma added.

 

“I... ohhh. Well,  _ that’s _ awkward,” Ryoga muttered.

 

The pair stood in awkward silence for a few moments. Ryoga quietly kicking himself for mistaking someone else for Ranko (even if they did look identical). Ranma meanwhile was trying to ignore how an actual loving kiss was making him feel.

 

“So... uh, what should we do now?” Ryoga asked.

 

“Well, I guess Ucchan’s wouldn’t be open right now. I guess we could go back to the dojo?” Ranma offered.

 

“The dojo? As in the Tendo Dojo? I’m not exactly welcome there,” Ryoga said. 

 

“Huh? Why not? Ain’t ya a good sparrin’ partner, and so someone they’d want around?” Ranma asked.

 

Ryoga stared at him, utterly unimpressed. “They want Ranko to marry Akane. Everyone sees me as a distraction from that... and  _ man _ is it weird to explain that to you.”

 

The pair began walking, with no destination in mind. It was just that standing still felt wrong. As they walked, mostly in silence, but with the occasional snippets of small talk (they agreed that the weather was nice), the pair ended up drifting towards Furinkan High School. The noises from the yard caused them both to realise the school was on lunch.

 

“Come on. Let’s go find Ranko. I... I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you,” Ranma said, grabbing Ryoga by the wrist (because his usual grabbing Ryoga by the hand felt like it would send mixed signals) and leading him towards Ranma’s favourite location to eat lunch (on the assumption it was a good spot as any to start).

 

The sight that greeted them surprised Ranma, to say the least. Ranko was sitting there in her gakuran and in her male cursed form, surrounded by girls who all seemed to be offering her food. In return Ranko was...  _ flirting _ ?

 

“A beautiful princess like you deserves to be treated as such,” Ranko said to one girl, a hand cupped on the girl’s cheek. As the girl turned red she dropped some chocolates in Ranko’s hand, while the curse girl then turned to another. “And you, delicate flower, have the boys still not recognised your radiant beauty? Certainly their loss, missing not only you loved company, but also your delicious cooking.”

 

Squeals of joy emitted from various girls as Ranko flirted away with a few more, acquiring food from at least a third. While turning to talk to another she finally noticed Ryoga and a very confused Ranma standing nearby.

 

“Ryo-chan!” Ranko shouted with joy, as she sprung to her feet, and began to rush over.

 

“Hey there Ranko,” Ryoga replied as he ran forward to the masculine looking Ranko.

 

Ranko leapt up and wrapped her legs around Ryoga while the pair shared a kiss. The reactions from the audience were mixed. Ranma was hit with a wave of confusion, seeing his doppelganger happily jump onto Ryoga and start kissing him, memories of his own kiss recent (especially when he had memories of actions dangerously similar with his own Ryoga while in cursed form). The girls who had been swarming about Ranko however let out a burst of excited noises. 

 

As the two broke their kiss apart the currently male Ranko turned to the crowd. “A bunch of rotten girls you lot. And don’t forget I’m a girl.”

 

“Gender doesn’t matter when you’re just appreciating,” a brunette with twintails replied.

 

Then the crowd noticed Ranma.

 

“Who’s that?”

 

“Do you have a brother, Ranko?”

 

“Or a sister?”

 

The cursed girl hopped down from Ryoga, and turned to face the crowd. “Girls, meet Ranma. He’s from a parallel universe typa deal. And yeah,  _ he _ is a guy.”

 

Ranma was surrounded by girls before he knew what had happened. The bombardment of questions made it obvious that all thought he had to be excellent boyfriend material. The dislocated boy was completely overwhelmed.

 

“I, uh... er,” Ranma stammered. 2 girls was enough to overwhelm him. This was just ridiculous.

 

The girls around him began to look disappointed, which just caused Ranma to panic more.

 

“Girls, girls,” Ranko said calmly as she waded into the crowd and up to her look alike. “You have to remember: he’s a boy. Flirting with a girl is serious for him.”

 

“Ooohhh, right. It’s like how you were with Hibiki last year!" a girl announced. (Wasn’t that one of Akane’s friends?)

 

“Heh... yeah. Sorry girls, but I’m going to need some private conversation time with my boyfriend. As well as my alternate dimension brother.”

 

Disappointed noises emitted from the girls, but the crowd headed off in an orderly manner.

 

“So, I have a lot of questions,” Ranma said. “Firstly though, what was that?”

 

Ranko shrugged. “The girls like compliments. Having those compliments come from someone who looks like a cute boy makes them even happier. At some point a girl gave me food when I complimented how cute her bento was, and that was all the incentive I needed.”

 

“Huh...” was the extent of Ranma’s verbal reply. Internally, however, he began to wonder if flirting with the guys in his class could net him just as much food. Maybe more... might give them  _ ideas _ though. 

 

“They took the idea of a parallel universe really well,” he added after a moment.

 

Ranko shrugged. “If I remember correctly that was high of the list of things Nabiki said people were betting would happen next. Up there with aliens showing up or having to fight a proper demon.”

 

Ranma nodded. Honestly, aliens wouldn’t surprise him at this point.

 

Another question struck him however. “Wait, how did you two meet? Like, I met my Ryoga in middle school, but that was an all guys school, so ya couldn’t a gone.”

 

“Ah, awkward story, but we met in middle school too,” Ranko replied. When she noticed the confused look on Ranma’s face she waved his question down. “Yeah, yeah. It was before the curse. Just, the old man had a gig lined up that meant we’d be in one place a while. I’m guessin’ something similar happened with you? Well, he went and saw that the toughest, and  _ cheapest _ , school in town was an all boys school. So told me that it would be good for training. I kind of wanted to prove to myself I could beat the guys up, so agreed.”

 

“She was fast. Pretty well no one could land a hit on her,” Ryoga added, smiling proudly.

 

“You especially, Oinkers,” Ranko laughed. “Anyway, eventually focused on this big doofus as my main sparring partner. Toughest guy there, and he was cute. Getting to walk him home every day, with an excuse for holding his hand, was nice.”

 

“I thought she was a guy though. So I got really confused about my feelings, and kind of turned it into anger,” Ryoga replied.

 

Ranma was left nodding apprehensively the whole time. Why did this have to match so closely with his own history?

 

“Man was it awkward when I found out she was a girl,” Ryoga mumbled, blushing furiously. Ranko quickly joined him.

 

“H-how did it happen?” Ranma asked.

 

“Well, he went and attacked on a rainy night. We both ended up split up and soaked. Akane found little Oinkers in her room, and since I was planning to get a bath cause I was cold ‘n wet I took him in with me. Expecting to soak beside a cute piglet instead I ended up naked in the tub with a guy... honestly something that happens much more often than I would like,” Ranko grumbled.

 

“Yeah... I guess that’s even worse for you,” Ranma replied, trying desperately to ignore how similar the interactions of these two were to himself and his own Ryoga. But for the one ‘minor’ difference of gender. “Still, Ryoga, you’re comfortable with her curse?”

 

Ryoga shrugged. “I dunno, like, I suppose...”

 

“Oh please,” Ranko replied, rolling her eyes. “The curse is the only thing that lets him be functional around me. Have you ever seen you Ryoga around a girl he likes, Ranma? He’s a disaster. He’s so panicked around me that if I so much as change my hairstyle he doesn’t recognise me. At least it lets me know he’d never cheat on me, won’t even give me the time of day if he doesn’t realise it’s me.”

 

Ryoga blushed while Ranma nodded in agreement. Though that left Ranma wondering about his own Ryoga’s dedication to Akane when he was so easy to charm.

 

“So yeah, I have to stay in boy mode if I want a proper date. Sure, we get some funny looks, but I’d rather that than him trying to eat his plate, which gets funny looks of a different kind. Plus I tend to get even more snacks off the girls after they see us together.”

 

Ranko looked ready to explain more, but the ringing of the school bell interrupted the currently black haired teen.

 

“Oh yay. I think I’ve got a test today... Anyway, Ranma, take Oinkers back to the dojo. And Ryoga, see you later lover,” Ranko said quickly, giving Ryoga a brief kiss on the cheek before running off.

 

As they watched her run off Ranma paid some vague attention to the rest of the sea of students filing into Furinkan. They were almost all familiar faces, but one was especially important to Ranma. Even though she wasn’t his Akane... he still wanted to see her. When she turned his way though, Ranma was shocked to see a nasty scowl on her face. He wondered what he’d done in such little time to upset her, until he saw her mouth ‘Hibiki’ before turning around and storming off.

 

That honestly confused Ranma more than it being him who’d upset her. His Akane always seemed fond of his Ryoga. What was different in this world? And... did he really want to be using the term ‘his Ryoga’ so much?

 

Ranma began leading Ryoga off towards the canal, having pieced together what the nickname Oinkers meant fairly easily. What made Akane mad was escaping him even more than usual however, and he had to ask.

 

“What’s wrong between you and Akane?”

 

“What’s wrong be-What  _ isn’t  _ wrong? Akane is supposed to marry Ranko, and on some level she actually wants that. But she can’t admit she has a crush on another girl, even if that girl is sort of a boy sometimes. So she’s angry. But she also considers Ranko her best friend too, so can’t be angry at  _ her _ . And I’m Ranko’s boyfriend, which means I’m both a ‘stealing’ her crush  _ and _ reminding her that her crush is really a girl,” Ryoga sighed. He then noted the impressed look on Ranma’s face. “I didn’t figure it out. I just got tired of having her yell at me for trying to be nice, and asked Nabiki what was going on. Cost me 10,000 yen...”

 

Ranma smiled. Some things didn’t change.

 

Still, this Akane being partially in love with Ranko confused him a bit. Did Akane like girls too then? Or was the curse enough to make Ranko count as a boy to her when in that form? And if it was the latter... did that mean Ranma’s own curse meant his Akane could only see him as a friend some of the time?

 

It was too much to think about. Shoving Ryoga into the canl thankfully gave him some solace.

 

* * *  


 

Ranma had settled in at the Tendos’, watching a bit of TV while P-ch-er, Oinkers sat beside him. The similarity of it all was really what made him feel uncomfortable. Even the shows and channels were the same.

 

Laying back and watching day dramas Ranma felt a bit of guilt. Back home he was Akane’s fiancé, and so wasn’t really expected to do any housework (even if he did help Kasumi clean from time to time when it was just the two of them), but here... he was just a freeloader. Feeling determined to pull his weight, Ranma hopped to his feet and marched over to the kitchen.

 

He found Kasumi and Nodoka discussing recipes for the week. 

 

“I, uh... I was thinkin’, while I’m here, maybe I can help out in the kitchen a bit? Especially since I’m gonna be eatin’ your food and all...” Ranma muttered, feeling a bit nervous.

 

“Well, Akane usually helps with washing up,” Nodoka replied. “Maybe you could try that as well?”

 

“I’d kinda like ta help cook,” Ranma replied. “Dishes are never fun with the curse. One misplaced spoon when I’m rinsin’... wait, why are ya starin’ like that?”

 

“C-cook? I... no, no. We’ve definitely got that under control, don’t we Kasumi?”

 

“Oh my, yes. Not that we don’t appreciate the offer, but, well...”

 

“Okay, why are you two actin’ like I’m as bad a cook as Akane or somethin’?”

 

* * *

 

Akane and a male Ranko returned from school to the smell of something wonderful in the kitchen. Following their noses they found a few small bowls of  _ oyakodon _ sitting on the kitchen table, Kasumi and Nodoka each eating one of their own. Akane noticed the look of surprised confusion on both their faces as they studied the food before them, but Ranko had other priorities.

 

Seeing as how she was a bit hungry (having not had a chance to change back from male all afternoon left her extra peckish), Ranko walked over and grabbed a bowl. After a few bites she couldn’t help smiling.

 

“Mmm, this is perfect Kasumi,” Ranko said after swallowing a bit.

 

“Oh, it wasn’t me who made them,” Kasumi replied softly.

 

“Aah! Sorry mom, just used to Kasumi doing the cookin’ around here,” Ranko said, bowing nervously to her mother.

 

“It wasn’t me either, dear.”

 

Ranko was starting to grow confused when a very familiar voice spoke out from the hallway.

 

“Ranko, good ta see ya home. So, you agree my cookin’s fine, right? Your ma and Kasumi were so scared ta try it,” a currently redheaded Ranma said, smiling away.

 

Ranko turned pale, looking down at this male version of herself who, in an apron and female form, looked far more the part of girl than she felt she ever did. Especially with  _ her _ being in male form. Struggling to hold back tears (after all, this was just hammering home that being a guy was the only remaining option) Ranko gave a broken smile. “Y-yeah, it’s... it’s great Ranma. You’re a good cook.”

 

The change in Ranko’s mood caused Ranma to suddenly feel guilty. The short boy had been so focused on proving his own skill that he’d not stopped to think about  _ why _ they expected him to be a poor cook.

 

“I... I have homework to do,” Ranko announced, before turning and marching off.

 

After a moment of silence as they heard Ranko’s footfalls head upstairs, Nodoka cleared her throat.

 

“Akane, you should really help your fiancé with homework,” Nodoka said.

 

“Of course, auntie,” Akane replied softly before hurrying off.

 

“Ya know, since I might be missin’ school for awhile I should prob’ly take a peek myself,” Ranma added, hurrying upstairs as well.

 

Reaching Akane’s room quickly, Ranma found it strange to see his male form on the bed, arms wrapped around knees and trying to cry quietly while being comforted by Akane. Ranma almost didn’t want to intrude, but curiosity won out, and the redhead slipped into the room.

 

“I didn’t think it’d bother ya that much... but I’m sorry for pickin’ at something you’re clearly self conscious about,” Ranma said softly.

 

Ranko looked up at him sadly, eyes puffy and red. “This is just a reminder of why mom made the decision she made. I’m a total failure as a girl... knowing a boy version of me can be a girl better than me is just the final straw, I guess?”

 

Ranma had no idea what to say. Giving Ranko a pathetic look the redhead then leaned back and slid down the wall to sit on the floor. “I’ve got no clue what ta do, but... there’s gotta be some way I can help.”

 

“My femininity is a lost cause, Ranma. Heck, I was so bad at cooking as a kid that the old man took over. The same with the sewing. And I’ve never quite managed ta be as polite and proper as a girl should be,” Ranko sighed. “It’s no wonder ma was disappointed. She’s the perfect wife and woman, everything I wanted to be. To have her only daughter basically end up a boy... the curse honestly saved me. It at least lets me take a shot at bein’ a decent son instead.”

 

“I still don’t think she coulda expected much with pops teachin’ ya cookin’ and stuff,” Ranma muttered.

 

“Teaching?” Ranko asked, looking at Ranma as if he’d grown horns. “I’m a girl. This stuff is just supposed to come naturally.”

 

Ranma and Akane were both glad they’d been sitting already when they heard that particular statement (although Akane did nearly slip from the bed as she spun with surprise). 

 

“Ranko... did uncle Genma never actually  _ teach _ you anything about cooking?” the Tendo girl asked.

 

“No? I mean, he’s a guy, so if I were any good as a girl my natural instincts would be better than what he could teach,” the cursed girl replied.

 

“Was that his idea on how it worked, or yours?” Akane asked.

 

“The old man’s, of course. I was just a kid, he knew how the world worked better than me,” Ranko replied, fussing absently with her black ponytail.

 

“I’m gonna kill him,” Ranma fumed.

 

“Not if I get to him first,” Akane grumbled.

 

Ranko looked back and forth between her best friend and doppelganger, confused as to what exactly was happening. Had her father gone and ruined her life in another way?

 

“Ranko, even Kasumi had lessons when she was little,” Akane explained. “And I get upset because I haven’t learned  _ with _ Kasumi giving me lessons. If I were trying on my own I wouldn’t be as self conscious.”

 

“You mean... if I’d stayed at home with mom I might’ve ended up proper and feminine with ma’s teachings, rather than filling the old man’s promise that I’d be ‘tough as a guy’?” Ranko asked.

 

Ranma nodded. “Probably. ‘Course, I find it odd ma didn’t try ta teach ya when ya met up again.”

 

“That I can explain,” Ranko said. “She was really disappointed when I showed up a total tomboy... since I grew up idolisin’ everything the old man told me about how she’s the perfect woman my heart kinda broke. So I rushed to show her the curse and pointed out that I had plenty of skills a guy needed. Soon enough she was excited about the idea of having the son she’d always wanted.”

 

Ranma nodded. “I guess that makes sense. When she was tryin’ ta teach me I was pretendin’ ta be a girl without a curse, ‘cause of the dumb seppuku pledge pops made... D’ya think she’d be open ta teachin’ ya if ya asked?”

 

Akane and Ranko exchanged a nervous glance.

 

“No,” Ranko replied. “She got kinda upset with me the last time she caught me wearin’ a dress. Said that I need to set my heart on masculinity if I’m going to be a husband. That ya can’t do both.”

 

There was a pause as Ranma thought it over. He could try teaching her a bit, but he’d only be here a couple of weeks if Cologne had told the truth. But he knew how stubborn his mother (and therefore Ranko’s mother in all likelihood) could be. His own surprising love of cooking had left him trying to get more lessons from her to no avail. Kasumi probably wouldn’t want to disobey Ranko’s mother, so she was out.

 

“What about Ukyo?” Akane asked, having apparently been down the same train of thought.

 

A sudden realisation dawned on Ranko’s face. “Y’know, the way her dad was giving her lessons on how to cook was probably part of the reason I thought she was a boy when we were little... yeah, let’s go visit Ucchan’s after dinner.”

 

The current predicament covered, Ranma hurried off to return to his birth form (having only gotten away with changing as Nodoka accepted his view that cooking was easier in girl mode). The three then set to work on homework. Ranma took some comfort in Ranko’s not being much better than him at school. Part way through Oinkers strolled in (rather it was by accident or not, Ranma couldn’t hope to determine) and was quickly pampered by both Akane and Ranko. Both discussed the homework with the piglet, Akane because thinking aloud helped her with math and Ranko because her boyfriend was better than her in several subjects, even though he did his learning independently from textbooks in his backpack.

 

* * *

 

Ukyo let out a sigh as the dinner rush wrapped up. There were a couple of older regulars chatting in a side booth, but those old ladies rarely talked to her, disliking her masculine behaviour. Which meant the chatty Kyotoite was going to be left without a vent for the evening. She decided to take her mind off it by loading up her dishwasher.

 

“Ucchan!” two voices shouted out in a near perfect synch.

 

Looking up she saw two Rankos in male form approaching her, Akane in toe and waving. Of course she knew one of the ‘Rankos’ was actually this Ranma she’d heard about, but she couldn’t really tell which one he was.

 

Nervously, one of the ‘twins’ approached her grill. “I was wondering if I could maybe ask a favour.”

 

“Sure Ran-chan. Anything for my best friend. Or her cute ‘brother’... though I would like to know which one’s which,” Ukyo replied.

 

“I’m Ranko,” the dark haired ‘boy’ before her replied. She held up her arms to show the rolled up sleeves and lack of cursed bracelet. “So... I was wondering if you could maybe give me some lessons on... cooking?”

 

“Sure thing!” Ukyo replied, beaming away. “Just go wash up and put on a uniform and we’ll get started.”

 

“Thanks Ucchan!” Ranko replied, bowing deeply before skipping on her way to the back. (Something which gained judgmental remarks from the old women in the corner, complaining about ‘that too feminine boy,’ not realising there were other nights they complained about Ranko being a hopeless tomboy.)

 

Ranma and Akane meanwhile sat down at the grill. Ukyo could tell Akane was a bit uneasy. She could sympathise with the girl, understanding how she was in love with Ranko, yet not ready to be in love with a girl. While also wanting to support her best friend in overcoming insecurities.   
  
Ranma though, he was quite a bit more of a mystery to Ukyo. She’d heard a bit from Ranko about his being cursed as well, and how he was definitely a boy in Ranko’s eyes. Yet... having seen them together (even this briefly) she felt that the difference might not be as great as Ranko thought. There was just something in this new boy’s eyes... Before she could strike up a conversation though, Ranko returned, looking quite handsome in a waiter’s uniform, and wearing an innocent smile.

 

“I’m ready to start, sensei!” Ranko announced with another deep bow.

 

Ukyo took a deep breath and set off into trying to give a total beginner some cooking lessons. (She’d heard the horror story of the one time Nodoka had asked Ranko to cook when they’d first been reunited...)

 

* * *

 

It had been a long four hours, and there was a lot of cleaning to do, but Ranko had made something resembling progress. The first two hours had been mostly wasted on her kicking herself as a perfectionist. It was only after everyone told her to calm down, and that she was  _ supposed _ to fail the first few times that she actually started learning.

 

The okonomiyaki she’d produced was horribly burnt, and still a bit runny on the inside, but it was almost edible. Unlike the three she’d somehow stuck to the ceiling. Or the one she’d managed to lose a spatula in...

 

“Yeah. I haven’t hurt my teeth on anythin’... yet,” Ranma commented, while munching on the latest attempt.

 

“Jerk,” Ranko countered, though she was smiling, understanding that loving teasing was just Ranma’s style. Afterall, she was much the same with Ryoga.

 

“I was wonderin’ though, is Konatsu out shoppin’ or something? Odd for her not to get back when it’s this late,” Ranma mentioned between mouthfuls.

 

“Who?” Ukyo asked, glancing to the other two to see Ranko and Akane looked just as confused.

 

“Konatsu... your ninja waitress?” Ranma replied. Realising he was getting nothing but confused stares he took a moment to think the issue over a bit. “Right... you said the old letch isn’t in Japan anymore, didn’t ya, Ranko?... It was his scheming that caused us ta meet her.”

 

“What’s she like?” Ukyo asked. “I could take on a waitress with my current revenues.”

 

“I... huh,” Ranma started, trying to work out the best way to describe Konatsu. “She’s surprisingly dramatic for a ninja. Honestly, loads of fun too. Surprisin’ she’s always kept such a good attitude, considerin’ how terrible her family was growin’ up.”

 

“Terrible family? How bad are we talkin’ here?” Ranko asked.

 

“Cinderella-like,” Ranma replied. “Only, kinda worse.”

 

“We’re going to save her then. It’s our duty as martial artists,” Ranko declared, raising a determined fist. “Where’d she be right now?”

 

“I’d have ta go find a map ta tell ya the nearest town names,” Ranma said. “We were kinda hikin’ aimlessly at the time.”

 

* * *

 

It was early morning when Shampoo arrived at the Tendos’. The dew had still not yet evaporated. But Shampoo knew Akane was out on her morning jog by this point, which meant she could enjoy a bit more quality time with her future wife-husband.

 

Hopping up on the dividing wall, Shampoo spotted the red hair of her beloved Ranko running through a kata. Overjoyed the amazon girl launched herself like a torpedo at the pigtailed redhead.

 

“ _ Airen! _ Shampoo is here to give you affection that angry girl is afraid to offer,” Shampoo announced as she rested her head against her love’s soft chest.

 

“Gah! Shampoo! Lemme go!”

 

“Just a little longer. Want to enjoy this before going and finding useless boy doppelganger of beloved.”

 

“Oh hey, Shampoo. You’re here pretty early,” Ranko said, pausing on the  _ engawa _ from her walk to the kitchen.

 

Staring at the one redhead, Shampoo was severely confused for a moment. Leaping back, she only now noticed the bracelet on Ranma’s wrist.

 

“Aiyah! Boy have girl curse!” Shampoo yelped.

 

“Well, yeah,” Ranma replied.

 

As the shock wore off, Shampoo turned to pounce the real Ranko, only to see that the girl had vanished.

 

“Bleh... at least now Shampoo understands what Ranma’s Shampoo sees in him. Well, have important information from great-grandmother. Apparently Ranma cannot leave region where first appeared, or else magic of bracelet gets upset and make wearer sick. Has been dormant too long, needs to feed on own energy profile... or something like that,” Shampoo explained, sounding almost reluctant to inform him.

 

“H-how big of a region?” Ranma asked.

 

“Um... Nerima should all be safe. Maybe nearby wards. Forget exact distance,” Shampoo replied. “Was still waking up when Great Grandmother was giving instructions.”

 

Ranma gave Shampoo a lidded stare at that answer. “Gee. Thanks for putting so much value on my safety.”

 

“Didn’t know you were more than just smelly boy then,” Shampoo replied flatly, as if hers was a were perfectly reasonable position.

 

Ranma let out a sigh. Now he had to go explain to the others he couldn’t come along. And what was he supposed to do? Just sit around and wait?

 

* * *

 

Sitting around and waiting was torture. How did anyone do this? He was going crazy, having to leave things to the others and just hope it went smoothly...

 

“Ranma, you look like you’re going to explode,” Nabiki said casually, as she ate her chips and watched the news. “They’re probably not even out of Tokyo city limits yet.”

 

“I know,” Ranma sighed, wrapping his arms around his legs and staring out towards the koi pond.

 

Nabiki shrugged and went back to watching tv. 

 

* * *

 

Working at the Neko Hanten had kept Ranma busy for the last two days, all the while waiting for others to return. It also him bounce schemes off Cologne on ways to return home. While it hadn’t borne any fruit, it at least helped Ranma feel like he was doing  _ something _ in all this. Being powerless for both his exile and the Konatsu rescue effort did not sit well. (It was also strangely nice to be able to just have a conversation with Shampoo without any romance schemes. She was so delightfully bubbly in conversations about martial arts techniques.)

 

As he returned from the restaurant, feeling a bit tired, Ranma braced for more scrutiny from this Nodoka. It seemed like she was more disdainful of any shows of his feminine side than his own mother, and it was getting rather tiring.

 

“I’m home?” Ranma offered, noticing a distinct shortage of shoes in the genkan.

 

“Ah, yo Saotome-kun,” Nabiki replied casually as she strolled out of the kitchen, munching away on some prawn chips. “Daddy and uncle went for drinks. Sis managed to drag auntie off on some quest for rare spices.”

 

“Oh thank the kami. I know she’s a version of my ma, and I love my ma, don’t get me wrong, but yer version seems ta think I should worship the ground she walks on. Real tirin’.”

 

“She’s just used to it. Ranko idealises that woman to an unhealthy degree,” Nabiki replied, not showing much interest in the conversation topic. “Either way, the girls and Oinkers should be back soon. Akane called from a payphone somewhere, gave Kasumi an ETA.”

 

“Really? When abouts?”

 

“WE’RE HOME!” Ranko yelled as she slammed the door open, causing Ranma to jump slightly with the volume. “Oh, you guys were right here. Now I feel silly.”

 

Behind Ranko were Ukyo and Akane (both taking their fingers out of their ears), as well as a rather dazed looking Konatsu. Clearly one of them had not prepared for Ranko’s volume.

 

“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: the real reason your chest is so big is to fit those lungs of yours,” Nabiki grumbled, rubbing her ear.

 

“The old man always said a girl should know how to scream,” Ranko replied, smiling away.

 

“This is such a beautiful home,” Konatsu muttered dreamily.

 

It was then that Ranma noticed the ninja girl was wearing Chinese silks, rather than her usual clothing. 

 

“Is that one a’ my shirts?”

 

“No, you dolt, it’s one of mine. Had to lend it to her after the fire burned up hers,” Ranko replied. “Come on, I’ll tell ya the whole story.”

 

Ranko dragged Ranma off by the wrist towards the family room while the others followed. The redhead happily plopped herself down at the table and quickly began to give details about their bus ride. Then the hike up the mountains, where they ‘found’ Ryoga (Ranma noted the way Ranko pet the little pig in her lap when she mentioned that). Finally arriving at the tea house, Konatsu proved instantly thrilled at the idea of a rescue, but firmly disappointed at the way the rescuers had neither a white horse nor were any of them fairy god-parents. Then the fight that broke out with Konatsu’s step family, where Ranko got very excited to describe every technique of the battle in detail. She was a bit too focused on the martial arts side, and forgot to mention when the fire started, causing more than a little confusion.

 

“Oh yeah, at some point one a’ her step sisters knocked over some candles, and those hit a drape. Place was burnin’ something fierce,” Ranko explained, her grammar having gotten sloppier as she got more excited. “So, anyway. That’s when her step-ma stumbled inta the fire and lit her kimono on fire. And then all the smoke bombs she was carryin’ started going off. Then it was pandemonium. Since nobody could see anythin’, she decided ta charge Konatsu, tryin’ to tackle her. All she managed ta do was catch Konatsu’ outfit on fire too. Yeah, so that’s why I had to lend her some of mine.”

 

“It was quite a surprise to see her without a shirt,” Ukyo added, laughing a bit. “No wonder you said she lived with me at the restaurant in your world. We’re definitely birds of a feather, even if her feelings are way stronger than mine. Ranko fits too, but she’s gotta stay here.”

 

Konatsu, for her part, blushed. “I still must say that this talk about parallel worlds stuff is way over my head, but thank you for helping to organise my rescue, Ranma-kun.”

 

“Hey, you deserve way better than ta be stuck with yer terrible step family,” Ranma replied casually.

 

“Well, I’ve got a restaurant to open. Come on Konatsu, I’ll show you the ropes, and give you some knew clothes,” Ukyo announced, hopping to her feet. “As cute as Ranchan is, her clothes are much too tomboyish for you.”

 

“I, oh... yes! Yes of course,” Konatsu replied nervously. “This is all so exciting.”

 

* * *

 

It was just Ranma, Akane, and Ranko in the dojo a short while later. They were working on warm ups, with Both Saotomes were in male form, Ranko knowing Ranma would find it easier to go all in for the sparring. 

 

“I’m still a little confused,” Akane half whispered. “Konatsu doesn’t have a curse or anything, so... why are we using ‘she’?”

 

Ranma and Ranko both stared at her, clearly surprised by the question.

 

“Right, my Aka-er, the Akane back home was kinda confused to, after we talked ta Konatsu about it,” Ranma replied. “But, she said she wished she was a girl, when-well, it was Tsubasa that bugged her about it actually. Wish I could say I’d asked, but no point in lyin’. Anyway, she lives like a girl, cause that’s how she wants ta live. And... well, who’s it hurtin’ ta see and treat her as a girl?”

 

“Plus, she knows how to be a girl better than I do,” Ranko added. “If she ain’t a girl... well, I’ve got my curse too, so, if she ain’t one then I feel like I can’t say I’m one either. You’re fine with me being a girl though, right? So it seems a bit hypo-wait, you are fine with that, ain’t you Akane?”

 

Akane opened her mouth, clearly about to say something, only to look like she’d become lost in thought. To the surprise of both Saotome teens, tears soon followed.

 

“Akane, what’s wrong?” Ranko asked, rushing over to hold the shorter girl.

 

Akane wiggled and pushed her way out of the hold. “Please, not right now. I’m confused, okay? I... kami, I’ve just got to come out and say it. Ranko, you’ve become my best friend, and I want to see you happy. And I know always treating you as a girl is what would do that, but... you’re also my fiancé, and supposed to be my husband one day, and... and I want that future. I want it b-because I’ve fallen for you.”

 

Ranko stared with confusion, before slowly panning her head towards Ranma. The other teen could do nothing but shrug, he had no clue how to fix this. Ranko gave a barely perceptible nod in reply and turned back to Akane.

 

“I-uh... but we...” Ranko stammered, having no clue how to respond to this.

 

“I know, I’m a mess,” Akane sobbed. “I think my subconscious has been trying to pretend you’re two different people... something Ranma showing up hasn’t helped with. But you just... you were being so clearly a girl in boy mode lately, and especially around Konatsu, it short circuited my denial.”

 

Ranko stepped forward and went for a tighter hug that Akane couldn’t wiggle out of. “Akane... I’m sorry.”

 

“No, you shouldn’t be. I’m the one who’s sorry. But... I just want you to know it will take me time to figure this out,” Akane whispered, holding tight against Ranko’s cursed form. 

 

* * *

 

After Akane’s confession, things had been awkward. Ranko had ended up in Kasumi’s room, while Ranma had taken to sleeping in the dojo. It was tense and Ranko tried to keep things light and give Akane her space. 

 

Still, the time had been productive. Ranko had been hard at work with her cooking lessons from Ukyo (and Ranma at times). She still couldn’t cook a  _ good _ okonomiyaki. Or even a decent one. But at least it was recognisable what she was trying to make. And she’d mastered instant noodles with Ranma’s help. Akane had made similar progress, and both girls were quite excited.

 

There had also been the evening where Ranko had received a quick makeover from Konatsu in cursed form. The ninja girl did a good enough job that Ryoga, who’d shown up again that morning, accidentally ate his chopsticks (and Ranma couldn’t help feeling a bit odd, know that his birth form could look  _ that _ pretty with just a little makeup).

 

Ranma had no idea how to help Ranko and Akane with their confused relationship, no matter how much he tried to come up with ideas. Mostly it reminded him enough of his own situation with his Ukyo, a dilemma he also had no idea how to solve, that he couldn’t get an objective read on it. Shampoo as well, he had no clue what could help with that situation.

 

There was another confrontation, though, that Ranma felt he could help with. Ranko was clearly terrified to confront her mother, the woman she was raised to see as the embodiment of femininity. They’d rehearsed their line of argument a good dozen times, yet Ranma was convinced he had to push Ranko to do this while he was still there or else it would never get done.

 

“Come on, she’s waiting for us in the dojo. It’s not good to be too slow,” Ranma sighed as Ranko paced her room she shared with Akane.

 

“B-but... what if she throws me out for trying to disobey her?” Ranko asked nervously.

 

“She won’t. If she does... well, then she’s not much of a mom, and she doesn’t deserve ta have ya around,” Ranma replied.

 

If it had been his own Nodoka Ranma would never be so bold, but Ranko’s mother... for some reason her constant pressures to make her daughter masculine bothered him far more than his own mother’s attempts to make the ‘Ranko’ he’d pretended to be feminine. He supposed if his own mother had ever knowingly tried to make him abandon his masculinity he’d get just as defensive.

 

Ranko nodded. She was a bit reluctant, but knew she needed to do this. She also knew she’d probably be too nervous on her own.

 

“It’s just so hard to confront her. I was raised with her as my ideal to strive for,” Ranko whispered as she followed Ranma down the stairs. “Disobeying your role model is terrifying.”

 

Ranma placed a reassuring hand on the redhead’s shoulder. “I’m here ta back you up, whatever happens. And I know Ryoga will too.”

 

Ranko reached up and took Ranma’s hand. “Y’know, I wish you’d been around when I was a kid. I never wondered what having a brother’d be like before, but you’re not half bad.”

 

Ranma chuckled. “Come on, if we’d grown up together we’d probably be drivin’ each other nuts. I’m just on my best behaviour since I’m a guest.”

 

“Oh man, you’re probably right. I bet the old man would have tried to pit us against each other all the time,” Ranko added, laughing away.

 

The pair started to talk about various things they’d have probably fought about, laughing happily on the short walk to the dojo. As soon as they reached the doors though, Ranko’s mood dropped.

 

“C’mon,” Ranma said, sliding the door open.

 

Nodoka was sat quietly, having apparently begun to plan out her schedule for the week in the time she’d been waiting. She looked up at the pair as they walked in, and studied them as they approached her and sat down a polite distance. Her eyes narrowed as she confirmed which one was wearing the cursed bracelet.

 

“Ranko, what is the meaning of this? Ranma told me you had something important to talk about, and now you’re here in female form. I’ve told you that discipline is required in your quest to become a decent husband.”

 

“I... well, you see... that’s...” Ranko began, before turning to Ranma with puppy eyes. “Help.”

 

Seeing just how cute and helpless that look was made Ranma feel a little guilty about how often he’d used it on Akane back home to get ice cream and other minor things... Swallowing nervously, he turned to Nodoka. She wasn’t his mother, but now, with her cold and analysing gaze locked upon him, the similarities were making him waver a little too.

 

“It’s all her pop’s fault,” Ranma blurted.

 

“You should show a bit more respect for a man who is, effectively, your father,” Nodoka chided.

 

“Hard ta respect a man who messed up as badly as he did when it comes to raisin’ a daughter,” Ranma countered. “The old man’s messed up ideas about women is the reason Ranko’s so panicked about her femininity.”

 

“Genma informed me he gave Ranko many opportunities to engage in feminine behaviour, and that she rarely put in any effort. By the age of 10 he’d given up.”

 

“H-he only gave me the opportunity to fail,” Ranko whispered. 

 

Her mother’s gaze switching to her, with a raised eyebrow that seemed to say ‘continue’, though it also sent a shiver down Ranko’s spine. She’d started though, and she wasn’t going to back out now. She was Saotome Ranko, darn it! She didn’t lose.

 

“He thought my just being a girl meant I was supposed to be born with these skills. And always said that if he tried to help, being a man, he’d just make things worse. That there was a reason some tasks were ‘women’s work’. B-but I didn’t know how to cook or to sew without any help when I was 7. I’ve only found out now how much help Kasumi and Uc-Ukyo had as kids,” Ranko blurted.

 

Nodoka’s eyes suddenly grew harsh. For a moment Ranko almost feared for her life, until Nodoka’s glare shifted towards the direction of the Tendo home. “I gave him  _ several _ recipe books to teach you from. As well as a book on etiquette, and another on home crafts. You saw none of those?”

 

Ranko paused a moment, racking her memory (which had never been the greatest). After a minute or two of thought, she finally spoke. “I... I think I remember seeing him pawn some books when I was really little? Maybe?”

 

Nodoka’s eye twitched. “He told me he lost them in the swim to China... So, then, does this mean you wish to try once more on the path of womanhood?”

 

Ranko nodded. “I’m not sure I’ll master it any time soon, but I’m gonna try my best.”

 

“I’ll admit that it’s certainly more natural for me, to have my daughter grow up a woman. However, a young woman should talk more politely than that,” Nodoka replied.

 

“R-right! Sorry mom-er, mother,” Ranko corrected, blushing a bit. 

 

“Of course, the leaves the Tendo engagement in a slightly odd place. Legally it can’t be worked out if you will be living as a girl. There’s a lot to be discussed, both about that engagement and about your father’s parenting methods,” Nodoka said, as much to herself as anything. “Tell me, though, how do you feel about Akane, Ranko?”

 

“I, um, well, she’s my best friend.”

 

“Yes, but romantically?” Nodoka asked. “You’ve been playing the role of her future husband for a while. I’ll not be upset if you’ve developed feelings.”

 

“What? Nah, there’s no... no way that... er,” Ranko began to blush furiously as she thought back on some of the times they were especially close. The way saving Akane from certain crises felt. Holding the other girl close as they ran for safety... “Oh... well, maybe there’s a tiny bit of something there. Maybe. Just a tiny bit though, I swear. Plus, we’re still young, so, ain’t I supposed to, right? And... and I’ve got a boy I like too though.”

 

Nodoka nodded. “Your father has a lot to answer for. But familial honour might have to take primacy over feelings of the heart, sadly. We shall see how Tendo replies.”

 

With that, Nodoka excused herself and headed towards the home. Ranma and Ranko watched her quietly, before Ranma turned to a still blushing Ranko.

 

“Wait, ya really like Akane that way?” Ranma asked.

 

“I didn’t think so, but when I went to give a firm denial that could end it... suddenly I couldn’t. I wouldn’t ever chose her over Ryoga, but I feel like I can’t bring myself to say no either,” Ranko muttered, half to the floor.

 

“Hey, I understand that feelin’. Me an’ Ucchan back home are in a similar boat. Maybe Shampoo too, but there’s more mind games there,” Ranma replied, slumping out of the seiza seating. “It’s almost too bad tha-”

 

Suddenly Ranma’s bracelet began to pulse a bright green light.

 

“Ah dang! Ah dang! That’s the five minute warnin’!” Ranma yelped, hopping to his feet. “I... right, good, I’ve got the clothes ya leant me down here with the bedroll.”

 

Ranma hurried over and shoved the bedroll into the duffle bag in the corner, with the clothing. “I really hope I’m gonna end up at another Tendo Dojo, but who knows where the next me’ll be livin’.”

 

Before Ranma could panickedly say anything else, he found Ranko hugging him.

 

“Thanks for the help. I hope you can get back home soon,” the redhead said.

 

“Hey, just provided ya tips that my life let me know. I’m sure you woulda been just as big a help in my world,” Ranma replied, awkwardly hugging his cross dimensional ‘sister’/doppelganger. “Ya should probably let go though. Not sure if ya’d get sucked along or not if ya held on.”

 

“Oh! Good point!” Ranko yelped, hopping back. “Well, have fun in the multiverse.”

 

“I’ll try my-”

 

With a flash of green flame, Ranma was gone. Ranko was left waving to empty air.

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s notes: You may ask yourself, what is this? And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?
> 
> The latter is easier to answer. You clicked the link. But good on you with the Talking Heads reference.
> 
> As for the former: this is my way to crank out my ten thousand AU ideas without writing that many fics. Okay, so maybe ten thousand is a slight exaggeration... but I still have too many ideas. If any prove popular enough they might get full fics. Some ideas are a bit less solid that others... but might end up flowing better than expected.


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